The Wicked Witch of the North(side)

At first I thought she was an eccentric local, just some older lady with an oddball-glam sense of style.  But now that I’ve seen her hanging around the block for four straight days, always wearing the same getup, I’m not sure what to make of her.

She’s large and round, always swarthed in the same black cape-like garment with this boxy hood/cowl piece that fits over her head.  (Maybe she belongs to some religion or sect that requires women to be thus hooded and robed.)  She always wears sunglasses (even at night) with dark lenses in bright white, skinny rectangle frames.  Because of these, you never know what she’s looking at, but you feel like it’s always with narrowed, squinty eyes.  She also wears huge rings on all her fingers and bright lipstick over a somewhat unsettling smirk, with a purple shift dress under the cape.  I’m strongly reminded of Ursula from “The Little Mermaid.”  Maybe someday I’ll pass her while she’s sitting on the patio of the corner store, smoking her strange cigarettes, and she’ll cackle out sage advice at me (as you would expect of your neighborhood witch): “Life’s full of tough choices, idn’t dearie?”  or “Don’t underestimate the importance of body language!”

She certainly doesn’t look like a homeless person, but last Friday she spent all afternoon and all evening across the street from the corner store sitting on the curb with her legs open, fanning herself with the hem of her dress and exposing herself to pedestrians and traffic.  The folks at the salon must’ve called the cops, because I later saw one of the stylists crossing the street with an officer to talk to her.  But apparently she hadn’t caused too much trouble, because when a friend and I returned from the tattoo parlor later (more on that in another post), she was still there, sleeping against a car while standing up.

I went to the grocery store later that weekend, where I saw (and smelled) her on a bench outside the store.  A few minutes later, I was inside checking out and Poof!  There she was again, this time on a bench just inside the door.  On my way home from work Monday, she was back to sitting on the corner store’s patio furniture.  You’d think it would be hard not to notice her come and go, but she somehow manages to just appear and disappear.  Maybe it’s the cape; it helps her blend in.  Or maybe it’s magic :P

Either way, she gives me the creeps.